A Relativity Falls story
by Red13Rabbit
Summary: Gravity Falls AU: Twins Stanley and Stanford are visiting their con artist uncle for the summer in a sleepy Orgeon town called Gravity Falls. But the twins will soon learn that there is more to this town than there appears. NOTE: I do not own any Gravity Falls characters. I did not create the Relativity Falls AU.
1. Prologue: WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS

The airplane was quiet except for the snores of passengers. Most people were asleep, though a few were still awake reading with book lights. The flight attendant noticed two passengers that were awake but didn't seem to be doing anything. She approached them.

"Can I get you boys a snack or something?" She asked the two kids. The flight attendant was slightly surprised to find they were identical twins. The only thing distinguishing the two was their outfits. The one by the window wore glasses and a brown aviators jacket over a plain white t-shirt. The one in the aisle seat (they had the row to themselves, with two backpacks in the middle seat) was lightly kicking the seat in front of him to the growing annoyance of the girl sitting in it. He wore a red and white striped t-shirt.

"No thanks," said the boy in the aisle seat. "We're good."

"Okay, just let me know if you change your mind." The flight attendant walked away.

"Can you believe we are actually on our way to Oregon, Ford?" the boy in the striped shirt whispered to the other.

"I can still hardly believe we have an uncle that our parents never told us about," Ford whispered back. "I'm glad you were able to convince them to let us go for the summer, Lee."

"I just didn't want to go to that awful camp again. Their food was terrible. Plus I think the lake was turning people into mutants."

"Ha ha. Yeah. I swear that counselor had a third eye under that hat." The boys laughed for a minute. Ford went back to staring out the window at the night sky.

"Plus I couldn't stand those jerks bullying my brother!" Lee jokingly punched Ford in the arm.

"I still can't believe you punched Tommy Banks in the face." Ford pushed Lee. "Thanks for that."

"Hey if you mess with one Pines twin, you mess with both of us." Lee put Ford in a headlock.

"Stop!" Ford struggled free. A few of the other passengers had woken up because of the noise. "I just hope that no one in this Gravity Falls makes fun of me." Ford stared down at his hands. Each had six fingers.

"Oh I almost forgot. I got you something." Lee dug around in one of the backpacks that had fallen on the floor while they were rough housing. He pulled out a pair of gloves. "Here. Consider them an early birthday present." He handed the gloves to Ford. "That way you can hide your fingers if you want. Or I could just beat up anyone that says anything!" Ford took the gloves.

"Thanks but I'll stick with the gloves." Ford put them on. They were a bit big for his hands, but that allowed him to fit two fingers into one. "I got you a present too. I was going to wait till our actual birthday at the end of the summer, but I guess now is good." Ford dug around in the other bag. "Here."

"Cool! A camera! Thanks." Lee put the camera in his pack. "High six?" Lee put his hand up.

"High six," Ford answered, slapping Lee's hand. "We should probably get some sleep."

"I can't. I'm too excited. What do you think Uncle Mason is like?" Lee asked, back to kicking the seat in front of him.

"I don't know. Dad said they hadn't spoken in years, plus they're more than like twelve years apart in age. All he knows is that he runs a tourist trap called the Mystery Shack."

They speculated on what their uncle might be like for the rest of the plane ride. When the plane landed, their uncle was at the airport to meet them. They knew it was him because he carried a big sparkly sign the said Pines Twins. He wore a light blue suit jacket with shoulder pads and pink pants. On top of his graying hair he wore a fez with a shooting star.

"There's my two nephews!" He said as Ford and Lee approached. "Come here and give your uncle a hug!" The two boys were crushed in an embrace.

"Uncle Mason-" Lee started.

"Can't breath," Ford finished.

"Oh sorry boys. Just excited to finally meet you. And you can call me Uncle Mae. Now let's see, Stanford," he said pointing to Lee, "and Stanley." He pointed to Ford.

"Other way around Uncle Mae," Lee corrected. "But you can call me Lee."

"And I go by Ford."

"Well it's nice to finally meet you Lee and Ford. Now I'm sure you two are a little jet lagged from your long plane ride so let's get you to the Mystery Shack so you can unpack and relax."

Ford and Lee slept the entire ride from the airport.

"Wake up boys. We're here."

The boys groggily opened their eyes. They were parked by a totem pole. They got out of the car and got their first real look at the Mystery Shack. It looked just like the postcard that Lee and Ford had found that had clued them into Uncle Mae's existence. There were various attractions outside the old house. On the roof was a giant sign that read Mystery Shack. The s in shack was tipped and a few of the letters were sparkling in the early morning sun.

"Come on boys. I'll introduce you to my employees," Uncle Mae said as he was getting the boys' suitcases out of the trunk of his car. They walked up to the shack. "The front rooms are for the exhibits." He led them to a door with a sign that read Gift Shop. Inside there was various souvenirs from t-shirts to snow globes to bobble heads that looked like Uncle Mae.

Behind the counter was a red headed teenager reading a magazine with his feet up on the counter. He wore a red flannel shirt, a green beanie and muddy boots. His beard was as red as his hair. He looked up from his magazine as they approached.

"Hey Mr. Pines. These your nephews?" He pointed at the boys.

"Yep. Boys this is Danny Corduroy. He works here part time in the gift shop. Danny this is Stanley and Stanford." He gestured to the boys.

"Nice to meet you. Mr. Pines has been talking about you two coming all week." Danny held out hand. "I'm sorry for asking, but which one of you is Stanley and which is Stanford?"

"Stanford, but you can call me Ford," Ford said as he shook Danny's hand.

"Guess you know which one I am now. Call me Lee." Lee shook his hand.

"Okay boys, you can chat later. I'll show you your room." Uncle Mae led them through a door marked Employees Only. "My room is in the attic. You'll be staying in the bedroom down here. I hope you don't mind sharing a room."

"It's fine. We share a room back home," Lee said. They went through the living room where a young Mexican woman was vacuuming. She stopped when they entered the room. She was wearing khaki shorts and a red shirt that had a pink question mark on it that was dotted with a heart. Ford had noticed similar ones in the gift shop. Her black curly hair was tied up in a ponytail that went through the the back of her tan baseball cap.

"Hello Senor Pines. Back from the airport already?" She asked.

"Yep. Did you prepare the room like I asked Ria?" Mae asked.

"Yes sir Senor Pines. It was quite dusty."

"Thanks. Boys," Mae turned away from the woman and toward the boys, "this is Maria Ramirez. She does all the cleaning around here as well as some handy work when I need it. I only hired her to keep the exhibits clean, but she insists on cleaning the whole house." Ford and Lee shared an excited glance. Mae looked them stern in the eyes, "Do not take advantage of that. I've already told her she's only allowed to dust and vacuum in your room. Any other mess you two make you either have to clean up yourselves, or live with, understand?"

"Understood," they said in unison, their faces falling slightly. The boys turned to the woman.

"Nice to meet you Maria, Ford." Ford shook her hand.

"And I'm Lee!"

"Nice to meet you ninos. But please call me Ria. Everyone does." She went back to vacuuming. Mae led them down the hall. They stopped at a door in the middle of the hall.

"Here it is!" Mae said as he opened the door.

"Bunk beds!" the boys shouted in unison as they ran into the room.

"I call top bunk!" Ford shouted.

"That bunk bed is new. I hope you like it." Mae put the boys suitcases next to the window seat. "You can put anything on the walls and use the shelves as you please. There's no closet in here, but you can use the dresser. You even have your own bathroom." Mae pointed to the other door in the room that neither of the boys had noticed. Ford scramble up the ladder to the top bunk. Lee stood at the foot of the lower bed staring at the pig on it that was chewing the blanket.

"Uh, Uncle Mae? Why is there a pig on the bed?" Lee inquired.

"Oh sorry. That's just Waddles. I'll get him out of here." He grabbed the pig. He had to wrestle the blanket away from it. "Umm," Mae stared down at the ruined blanket, "I'll get you another blanket too." Mae walked to the door, pig in arms. Just before he left he turned around. " I'll let you boys explore around here for today, but tomorrow you're going to be helping at the Mystery Shack. Got it?" The boys nodded. "Good. But don't worry, I'll make sure you have fun this summer!" He left.

Lee flopped down on the bed. Ford poked his head over the edge. Both boys broke into a huge smile.

"This is way better than camp!" Lee exclaimed. "Uncle Mae seems really cool."

"Yeah it is! I wonder if any of his exhibits are real?" Ford pondered. "This is going to be the best summer ever!"

Authors Note: I made some slight changes from what I originally posted due to information that came out in the Journal 3 book. Nothing that really affects the story. Hope you guys still like it. Sorry I have posted anything new in a long while. Now that it's winter break I should be able to get the first chapter done.


	2. Chapter 1: Strange and Stranger

It had been about a week since Ford and Lee arrived in Gravity Falls. The two boys had settled into a boring routine of helping their uncle in the Mystery Shack. Ford was a bit disappointed when he found out that all of the exhibits were fake. However he couldn't shake the feeling that something in the woods was watching him. Lee on the other hand was very much enjoying spending time with their con artist of an uncle. He was determined to beat Mason in poker at least once. He was also having a good time flirting with all the tourist girls that came through the the Shack.

Ford watched his brother hiding behind a shelf full of Uncle Mae bobble heads as he unpacked Mystery Shack snow globes. Lee was excitedly watching a girl across the gift shop reading a note. The note said 'Do you like me?' The options underneath were 'YES, DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY'. The girl looked around in confusion wondering who wrote the note. Deciding that she didn't care that much, she crumpled it up and threw it away.

"Ah man. Maybe I shouldn't have rigged it," Lee grumbled, his face falling.

"Or you should have put your name on the note," Ford commented. He finished putting the snow globes on the shelf. "You know you don't have to flirt with every girl that comes through here."

"I know. It's just for practice. Since I'll never see them again it's not like it'll hurt anyone."

"Why do you need to practice flirting?" Ford asked.

"For when I meet girls in town! Think about it Ford!" Lee gabbed Ford's shoulders. "No one here knows us. No one here thinks we're weirdos yet! This could be our big chance at summer romance! This is going to be the year I get a girlfriend, I just know it!" Lee had let go of Ford by this point and was staring off into space, determined. He turned his attention back to his brother. "You might even be able to get a _boyfriend."_ He whispered the last word in Ford's ear.

"Ugh, stop." Ford pushed Lee away from him. Lee laughed.

Lee probably would have continued to tease Ford, but just then Uncle Mae walked into the gift shop. He was holding an assortment of signs with equal amounts of bright color and splinters. He sported his usual fez, light blue suit jacket with shoulder pads, and pink pants. Today he also had an eye patch.

"Uncle Mae why do you sometimes wear an eye patch?" Ford asked.

"It adds to the mystery. Now I need someone to go into the spooky part of the forest and hang these signs. Anyone?"

"Not it!" Ford and Lee both shouted.

"Also not it," Ria said from the where she was dusting the higher priced merchandise.

"I guess that leaves you Danny," Mae said. Danny was sitting behind the counter reading a magazine.

"Oh, I so totally would Mr. Pines, but I promised Ria, like a month ago that I'd show her how to work the cash register today. And I know how you hate it when people break promises."

Uncle Mae narrowed his eyes, suspicious. He looked to Ria.

"Oh. Uh, y-yeah. He did. Totally." Ria pasted a grin on her face.

"Okaaay." Mae dragged out the word, not buying into the lie, but not caring enough to call them out on it. He turned back to the boys. Ria gave Danny a high five that Mae didn't see. "I guess it'll have to be one of you two. Now let's see….eeny, meeny, miny, you." He pointed at Ford.

"Yes!" Lee exclaimed.

"Ah man. But Uncle Mae, there's something weird in the woods. Every time I go near them it feels like something is watching me. Plus my mosquito bites spelled out BEWARE yesterday!" Ford showed him the bites on his arm.

"That spells BEMARE." Ford pulled his sleeve back down. "Look Stanford," he put his free hand on Ford's shoulder, "there's nothing supernatural in this town. Those 'monsters in the woods stories'," he used air quotes for the phrase, "are just that, stories. Myths and legends drummed up by people like me," he pointed at himself, "to sell overpriced souvenirs to guys like that," he pointed to a very tourist-y looking guy in the shop looking at a bobble head. "The only thing in those woods that you need to be afraid of is wild animals and hermits. Now go hang these signs."

"Fine," Ford grumbled, reluctantly taking the signs.

* * *

Ford walked through the woods hanging signs that prompted the Mystery Shack as he went. He was grumbling things to himself like 'no one ever listens to me' and 'only wild animals and hermits my butt'. He went to hammer in a nail to the tree in front of him.

 _Bang!_ It made a noise like metal hitting metal.

"What the…?" Ford mumbled. He tapped on the tree with the hammer. _Bang, bang._ "Hmmmmm." Ford swept his hand across the trunk. It looked like an ordinary tree, but after wiping away some dirt and cobwebs he noticed that there was some sort of small door in the trunk. Ford opened it. Inside a section of the tree had been hollowed out. Covered in dust and cobwebs was some kind of square device covered in buttons and switches.

"Huh. This is wierd," Ford commented, pressing a couple buttons and flipping a switch a few times. They didn't seem to do anything for a second. Then he heard an oink behind him and what sounded like a sliding door. Ford turned around to see Uncle Mae's pig, Waddles, a few feet back from a hole in the ground. It seemed as though the device in the tree had opened another secret compartment, which had scared Waddles. Ford went over to investigate.

Inside the hole was a book. He picked it up. It was old, with yellowing pages and bound in a brown leather cover coated in dust. He blew the dust off the front. Without the dust it looked more red. There was no title on the cover, only a few golden dots connected to make what looked like the Big Dipper. In the scoop was a number 3. Ford opened the book. Inside the cover it said 'Property of-', but the name had been scratched out. He flipped through some of the pages.

"Whoa," Ford breathed. The pages were filled with notes and pictures of all manner of strange and supernatural beings. He flipped back to the first page and started reading the neat hand writing out loud. "It has been five years since I started researching the mysteries of Gravity Falls, Oregon." He flipped through the pages again, until he came to blank pages about two thirds of the way through. He flipped back a few pages to the last page with writing. "Unfortunately my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before He finds it. Remember-in gravity falls there is no one you can trust." Ford looked up from the journal, thinking about that last line. "No one you can trust."

"Hey!"

"Aaaaa!" Ford jumped nearly a foot in the air, slamming the book closed. He turned to his laughing brother who had jumped up from behind a fallen tree. "Not funny Lee." He glared at Lee while straightening his glasses.

"It's kind of funny," Lee beamed, but he stopped laughing. "Hey what you got there?" He pointed to the journal.

"Oh, uh it's nothing," Ford said quickly.

" 'Oh uh it's nothing'," Lee mocked. "Come on dude, are you really not going to tell me?" Lee slumped over the tree.

"Hmmrr." Ford glanced suspiciously at Waddles, who had wandered over and was now trying to eat the book. The words that he had just read echoed in his head. "Let's go somewhere private." Lee rolled his eyes.

"Okay."

They walked back to the Mystery Shack in silence, Lee climbing over any rocks in the path, Ford constantly glancing around. He couldn't shake the feeling they were being followed. Back at the Shack, the boys went to the living room and Ford explained how he found the journal.

"It's amazing!" Ford was pacing back and forth in front of his brother, who was sitting on the armrest of Uncle Mae's chair. "Uncle Mae said it was my imagination, but this book is all about the secret dark side of Gravity Falls." He stopped pacing so he could show Lee one of the pages.

"Whoa! That's freaky." Lee took the book from Ford and started combing through the pages.

"And what's really weird is that at one point the writing just stops, like whoever was taking these notes just, vanished." Lee flipped to that part of the book.

"Creepy." They both stared at the blank page for a second, silent. Then the doorbell rang.

"Who's that?" Ford asked, thoughts about the journals mysterious author temporally forgotten. Lee closed the book.

"Well I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag." Lee now had a huge grin on his face. "This boy's got a date!" He pointed to himself and fell back onto the chair. Ford caught the book before it fell to the ground.

"Wait, so you mean to tell me that in the half hour that I was gone you managed to get yourself a girlfriend?" Ford asked, mostly shocked but also slightly impressed.

"Well she's not my girlfriend yet, but I got her to say yes to a date, which is a start." The smile never wavered on his face. The doorbell rang again.

"Boys, I'm getting cookies out of the oven so one of you better get that!" Mae called from the kitchen.

"I'll get it!" Lee called rolling out of the chair. He ran out of the room. Ford sat in the chair. He opened the book, planning on going through it more thoroughly.

"What'chya' reading?" Uncle Mae asked as he came into the room with a plate of cookies. He took a bite of one of the cookies.

"Oh uh," Ford quickly scrambled to hide the book under a pillow. He picked up a magazine on the side table. Lucky for him, Mae was distracted by the burning cookie in his mouth. "Just catching up on," Ford glanced at the cover of the magazine he had picked up, " _Yarns and More_?"

"Hot, hot," Mae said as he set the plate on the side table. Once he recovered enough to focus on Ford, he looked at the magazine. "That's a good issue. Has some great crochet patterns. Anyway, there was a lull in the tourist activity, so I made cookie. My own secret recipe. Feel free."

"Hey family!" Lee came back into the room with a girl quite a bit taller than himself. She wore loose fitting jeans and a dark gray hoodie with the hood up. Her reddish brown hair covered one of her eyes. Her skin was pale and her makeup screamed emo. "I would like to introduce you to my date." Lee held up his arms like Uncle Mae did when he was showing an exhibit on a tour.

"Hey," Ford greeted.

"Cookie?" Mae offered.

"Hello. Um, no thanks." Her voice was higher pitched than Ford expected.

"So what's your name?" Ford asked, since it seemed as though Lee had forgotten that part of the introduction and was now just giving her googly eyes.

"OrdinaryPerson!" She quickly squeaked out. Mae and Ford gave her a confused looked. She cleared her throat. "I mean Audrey, Audrey Peterson." She gave them a nervous smile.

"Nice to meet you Audrey. So where did you two meet?" Mae asked returning her smile. Ford was still wary of this strange girl.

"Oh we met at the cemetery," she answered. Lee was stilling staring at her in adoration, as though mesmerized.

"Oh I've got something for you Lee. Wait here." Mae ran up the stairs. The three of them stood in silence for a second. Audrey fidgeting nervously. The two boys looked at her, Lee infatuated, Ford cautious. Audrey bit her lip. Finally Ford broke the silence.

"Audrey, is your mouth bleeding?"

"Huh?" She licked her teeth. She seemed to grown even more nervous. "Uh, it's just...jam. Hehe." She let out a nervous laugh.

"I like jam," Lee sighed. Ford looked at his brother concerned. This wasn't like him. There was another awkward silence.

"I think I'll wait outside." She turned to Lee. "Meet me out there when you get whatever it is from your uncle?"

"K," Lee said, still in his lovey-dopey trance. Audrey walked out of the room. Lee turned to Ford still wearing his stupid grin, but his eyes looked a little less trance-like. "Isn't she great?"

"She's something alright," Ford said. "So what are you going to do for your date?" While he was slightly concerned for his brother, he also didn't want to ruin it for him just because he had a bad feeling. Ford didn't like to admit it but he could be a little paranoid sometimes.

"Oh Danny has a break in ten minutes and he said he'd drive us into town. We'll probably grab a bite to eat eat and then just walk around for a little while."

"That's cool. By the way, why were you in the cemetery?"

"Oh that's because-" before Lee could finish Mae came back down the stairs.

"Here you are." Uncle Mae put a sweater over Lee's head. "It's a perfect fit!" The sweater was tan with a llama on the front.

"Uncle Mae, it's a hundred degrees outside!" Lee complained.

"Shut up. It looks good on you. Now go have fun on your date. I've got more tourists whose money is screaming to be taken." He left the room.

"Ugh, this thing itches."

"Soooo," Ford dragged out the word, thinking carefully about what he was going to say next. "Would you mind if I went to town with you guys? I won't bother you on your date," he hastily added. "I just want to explore the town a little, you know." That's what he said, but really he couldn't help but be concerned for his brother.

"Yeah sure. And feel free to join us for lunch. That way you can keep me from saying anything stupid." Lee kept scratching at his arms. "Is thing made of llama hair?"

Ford stuffed the journal inside his jacket. The boys walked to the front door together. Audrey was leaning on the side of the house outside in the shade. When the boys came out she gave a questioning look to Lee's new sweater.

"Yeah this is what my Uncle wanted to give me. I can't believe he's making me wear this when it's so hot outside. Seriously Ford I don't know how you wear that jacket all the time." He glanced at Ford who just shrugged.

"I hate turtlenecks." That's all Audrey said.

"Anyway is it okay if my brother joins us for lunch?" Lee asked. Audrey shrugged. "Let's go wait at the picnic bench."

"I think I'll wait here," Ford said.

"Okay." Lee and Audrey walked over to the picnic tables picking the one right under a tree for the shade. Ford pulled the journal out and started going through it looking at all the pictures. He wasn't looking for anything in particular. He stopped when he got to a page with a picture that looked disturbingly similar to Audrey. He read the description.

 ** _Known for their pale skin coupled with their bleak demeanor these creatures are often mistake for teenagers. Be wary of Gravity Falls' nefarious_**

"Vampires," Ford whispered to himself, hardly believing it. He kept reading.

 ** _Similar to the myths, they have an aversion to garlic, however it is not poisonous to them. I believe their heightened senses just can't take the smell. Unlike the myths, sunlight does not seem to affect them anymore than it would affect a really pale human. They can eat normal foods, but they need blood to survive. Most notable is the power they have to charm people, especially those of the opposite sex._**

Ford glanced up at his brother across the lawn. He was staring a Audrey again almost like he was…

"Hypnotized," Ford said. Now he was starting to panic. Not wanting Lee to see him freaking out, he backed into the house and closed to door. "Okay, just think Ford. Your brother might be going on a date with a vampire. Or you might just be letting your paranoia and imagination get away from you."

"Hmm yes that is concerning," Ria said. Ford jumped. He hadn't noticed her. She was on a ladder cleaning one of the lights in the ceiling. "Sorry niño. I didn't mean to scare you. I couldn't help but overhear you talking to yourself out loud."

"Ria, did you see Lee's girlfriend? Do you think she's a vampire?"

"Hmmm, how much blood did you see her drink?"

Ford sighed. "None."

"Look niño, it's possible. This town is very strange. My mailman is either a werewolf, or an extremely hairy man. But it is as my Abelo always says, you can't accuse someone of being a supernatural creature without proof. Otherwise you become a laughing stock."

"Your Abelo is weird."

"Yes, yes he is. Well good luck niño." Ria left the hallway, finished cleaning the light.

Ford thought for a moment. Ria was right; he couldn't accuse Audrey of being a vampire without proof, especially if he was wrong. He had an idea. He ran to his and Lee's bedroom and grabbed the camera he had given Lee. Then he ran outside to join his brother and the potential vampire. When he got near them Lee looked at the camera, the question forming in his eyes, but he didn't say anything out loud. After a few minutes they heard honking and Danny pulled around the corner of the Shack in a beaten up pickup truck.

"Someone order a taxis?" Danny joked. Audrey got into the pickup. This gave Lee a chance to ask about the camera.

"So why'd you grab my camera?" Ford grinned. He had already thought of a good excuse.

"There's a recording feature. I thought you might want to remember your first date. Plus if you do something super embarrassing I can watch it over and over again." His smile turned mischievous.

"Hey!" Lee sounded annoyed but he was smiling too. He playfully hit his brother in the arm.

"Hurry up you two!" Danny called. They loaded into the truck.

The ride to town was short, but they were all glad for the air conditioning in the truck. Lee had tied the sweater around his waist as soon as they left the Mystery Shack. Ford had even rolled up the sleeves of his jacket, but he refused to take it off. Danny dropped them off in front of a place called Greasy's Diner. It was shaped like a giant log on the flatbed of a train car. Inside there were booths with red bench seats, matching stools at the counter, and a few tables with a mismatch of metal and wooden chairs. A jukebox was playing in the corner. About half the seats were taken by people Ford assumed were on their lunch break. The three of them found a free booth. Audrey started looking through a menu. Ford was fiddling with the camera trying to get it to start recording. Lee was staring at Audrey again.

"You three ready to order?" the waitress asked through her chewing gum. She was wearing a pink button up shirt, a light blue poodle skirt, and saddle shoes. Her eyelids were painted a slightly brighter blue than her skirt, a color that seemed more appropriate for a middle schooler than the teenage girl. Her name tag read 'Suzy'.

"I am," Audrey said glancing at the boys. Lee mumbled an affirmative.

"Oh um..," Ford stammered. He hadn't even glanced at the menu. "Yes. Can I please get the special?"

"Sure thing, hon. One coffee omelet. And for you?" She asked Lee as she scribbled on her pad.

"BLT! Extra B!" Lee exclaimed.

"Okay. That comes with fries. Do you want regular or garlic."

"No garlic!" Audrey suddenly hissed. They all looked at her, surprised, except for Ford. He discreetly started recording.

"Regular is fine," Lee said as he started drumming the table.

"Alright. And for you?" The waitress, Suzy, turned her attention to Audrey.

"Burger. Rare." She said shortly.

"I'm afraid our cook can only do burgers two ways. Burnt or unburnt." She gave an apologetic smile. Audrey made eye contact with her. Unblinking.

"Rare please." Suzy's expression suddenly became blank.

"Rare. Got it," she said in a monotone. She walked back to the kitchen.

The rest of the day continued with Ford tagging along with the the young couple. He trailed a few feet behind them wherever they went always recording. Anytime Audrey looked at him though he would pretend to be taking pictures of something else. They stopped at an arcade, a laser tag place, got some ice cream. Outside the ice cream parlor, a guy bumped into Audrey and made her drop her ice cream. When he refused to apologize, she knocked him out with one punch to the face. When the shop employee came out to see what was going on, all three of them made a run for it. They decided to end their day of exploration when Ford was attacked by a couple of squirrels in the park

* * *

"Ow, ow!" Lee exclaimed as his brother applied disinfectant to the scratches on his arm. Despite Ford being the initial target of the squirrels rampage, Lee had ended up the worse of the two after he jumped into the fray to assist.

"Hold still, Lee!" Ford finished with the disinfectant and handed Lee the Dinosaur bandaids they had found in the medicine cabinet.

"I would have won against those two if their friends hadn't come to back them up," Lee insisted.

"Yeah, yeah," Ford half-heartedly replied. He was focused on disinfecting the scratch above his eye without getting any disinfectant into his eye. It was a far more difficult task than it should have been because he wasn't wearing his glasses. They had snapped right in the middle during the tussle and he had yet to repair them.

"Here, let me help you with that." Lee jumped off the counter. After both boys were bandaged up properly, Lee helped Ford find tape for his glasses. Finally Ford decided that it was time to present Lee with evidence he had been collecting all day.

"Hey Lee, can I talk to you?"

"Sure what's up?" Lee jumped onto his bed.

"It's about Audrey," Ford started.

"Oh isn't she just the best," Ford interrupted, going all starry eyed. "Her hair is so soft looking and the way it frames her face. Ah. And her eyes! It's like she sees you all the way down to your soul. It makes you never want to look away. And her voice-"

"Lee, focus!" Ford said, stopping his brothers rant. "There's something strange about her." He pulled the journal out from his coat as he said this.

"Oooo," Lee said curiously, looking at the journal. A look of excitement suddenly spread across his face as a thought occurred to him. "Do you think she's a zombie! Or maybe a werewolf! That would be cool!"

"No. Worse." Ford thumbed through the journal and dramatically revealed the page to his brother. The look of excitement on Lee's face was replaced by one of confusion.

"What's a 'fixey'?" Lee asked. "And why do you think Audrey is one?"

"A what?" Ford said in confusion. He looked at the page he had opened up to in the journal. It was about some strange small creature that resembled a cross between a fairy and a pixie. "Oops wrong page." He flipped a couple pages to the correct one. He showed it to Lee. "I think she's a vampire!"

Lee burst out laughing. Ford lowered the book and glared at him.

"Cut it out Lee. I'm being serious!" Lee managed to suppressed his laughter.

"But, dude, she was out in the sun _all day."_

"And it says here that vampires can survive in the sunlight with sunscreen!" Ford pushed the journal into his brothers face. "Plus around town she seemed to avoid sunny places a lot and kept her hood up the whole time. Not only that, she didn't want you to get the garlic fries at lunch and it says that vampires can't handle the smell of garlic."

"Dude," Lee pushed the journal away from his face, "lots of people just don't like the smell of garlic. Or maybe she wanted to kiss me later and didn't want me to have garlic breath. The point is that doesn't make her a vampire."

"Maybe not on its own, but what a about ordering her burger rare?"

"Weird," Lee conceited. "But not vampire-like."

"Knocking out the guy twice her size?"

"She works out."

"And how she seemed to hypnotize the waitress?"

"Fine, fine. She might be a vampire. That doesn't make her a bad person." Ford gave him a skeptical look. Lee stood up. "Look, I'll just ask her about it when I meet with her later at the cemetery."

"What?!" Ford exclaimed.

"Didn't I tell you. She's wants to meet me again later. Alone this time."

"You can't! The journal says that vampires only attack once they've lured their victims to a secluded area!" Ford was clearly starting to panic.

"Ford, calm down. I'll be fine. Yes all that stuff that you brought up was odd. But it doesn't prove anything. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date to get to." With that he left the room.

Ford sighed and flopped down on the lower bunk. He knew his brother was right. Most of the things he had pointed out could be be explained away. All together it was strange sure, but the whole town seemed a little odd. They only thing that seemed paranormal was the supposed hypnosis of the waitress. _Maybe she just has hypnotic powers_ Ford thought. _Or maybe there's a rational explanation that I'm just not thinking of._

"Guess I didn't need to record anything after all," Ford muttered to himself. He got up and got the camera off of the dresser then sat back down on the bed. "Still Lee might want to keep it. Since it is a recording of his first date." He began to look through the footage. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps to see if there was anything he missed. Perhaps he just wanted a distraction. Eventually he came to the park footage. "Ugh. I don't need to relive that." He hit the fast forward button. The scene zoomed by on the tiny screen.

Audrey and Lee with their backs to the camera walking on the sidewalk. Stopping to sit on a bench and talk. The angle on them moving as Ford moved to a different bench. The image suddenly blurring and turning sideways as the camera falls to the ground. The flash of a fluffy brown tail. Lee running towards the commotion and then out of frame. Audrey growing fangs, her eyes glowing red and hissing. A hand coming into view and covering the lense.

"Wait what was that." Ford sat up suddenly. He hit rewind then played it at the start of the squirrel attack. Now that it was playing normally there was sound. He could here his own panicked cries as the squirrels scratched and bit at him. "There," Ford whispered. A few minutes after Lee came running over Audrey was in frame. She was still standing by the bench. Her face contorted into a snarl. Her eyes began to glow red and teeth elongated into fangs. Ford wasn't certain, but he thought he could hear a hiss like a cats over the sounds of him and Lee trying to fend off the squirrels. He hit pause.

"Ha! I knew she was a vampire! This proves it!" His excitement quickly turned to dread. "I have to show this to Lee before he leaves." He put the camera in his pocket and left the room. He found Ria cleaning in the living room.

"Ria! Have you seen Lee?"

"Sí niño. He left about fifteen minutes ago. Said he was going on a date."

"Oh no, oh no, oh no. This is bad." Ford grabbed at his hair and started pacing. "What do I do?" His breath became rapid.

"Calm down niño. You're going to hyperventilate. What's wrong?" She put a hand on his shoulder, stopping his pacing. She was clearly worried.

"Lee's on a date with a vampire!" He pulled out the camera and played the footage for her.

"Hmmm, that is a problem. Do you know where he was going to meet her?" She asked.

"Yeah, but there's no way I'll be able to catch up to him in time."

"Yes you will. Here," she pulled a key ring out from her pocket. "This one is for the golf cart. With it you can catch up to your hermano. There's also some things in the back that you could use as weapons. Though hopefully you won't need them." She handed Ford the keys.

"Thanks Rita!" Ford snagged a map from the gift shop counter as he rushed out of the Shack.

"Your uncle is going to make you pay for that when you get back," Danny called after him.

"I know, I will!" Ford called over his shoulder.

The golf cart was parked by the tree line. Ford noticed Uncle Mae was showing a tour group one of the outside attractions. At the golf cart Ford took a moment to look in the back. There was a leaf blower, a baseball bad, and gardening shears. Ford looked at the map. There were a bunch of cartoonish drawing of weird creatures in the forested areas, and the proportions of all the building was not to scale, but Ford just need to see where the cemetery was relative to the rest of the town. He folded the map up and put it in his jacket with the journal. After buckling his seat belt, he started the engine and was off.

* * *

Ford pulled up to the cemetery a short time later. He had been psyching himself up to fight a vampire. He planned to grab Lee and drive away, but he wasn't sure how fast Audrey would be. However, when he pulled up to the cemetery gates the scene in front of him almost made him forget why he was there.

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu," Lee droned, jaw dropped, staring dumbfounded at the figure in front of him.

In front of Lee was a creature. Rather multiple creatures. Several small creatures huddled together to form a human figure. One creature was the head and four others made up the body. They all had pointed ears and insect like wings on their backs. The top one had skin that could pass for a pale human and black hair. The others, on the other hand, had bright colored hair and skin all colors of the rainbow. On the ground were Audrey's clothes. Floating next to them were arms that were opaque at the hands but grew translucent as they got closer to the creatures.

"So yeah," the top one said. Its voice is similar to Audrey's, but higher. "Sorry for tricking you. I'm Zerythna, Queen of the fixeys. This is Raklu, Baiol, Wehuf, and," She gestured to each of the fixeys as she introduced them, but paused on the last one. "I'm sorry, I can never remember your name."

"It's Jane, your majesty," the fixey said.

"That's right! Anyway," she turned her attention back to Lee. "There's a dance tonight in the woods and I want you to be my date!"

"I don't know," Lee said uncomfortably.

"If he has anything to wear!" Ford suddenly shouted from the golf cart. He scrambled to get his seat belt off and ran to his brother's side. "But I'm sure I have something he can borrow."

"Wonderful!" Zerythna clapped her hands together. "And Jane still needs a date, so you can come too! We can meet back here in half an hour!"

"Okay. We'll go get ready." Ford dragged Lee to the golf cart.

"Why did you agree for me? And why did you agree? You don't even like girls!" Lee confronted him when they were out of hearing range.

"Don't you remember the journal entry about fixey's?"

"Not really," Lee admitted.

"They can be extremely aggressive, and extremely dangerous. It's better to just go along with them than to anger them," Ford explained.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, the boys found themselves awkwardly slow dancing with their respective dates in a forest clearing. The trees that circled the clearing had been decorated with jars containing fireflies. The guest included fixeys, gnomes, and various woodland creatures. The music was provided by a frog with a turntable. Ford couldn't stop himself from staring at everything. He really wanted to record his observations in the journal.

"Lets get some snacks," his date, Jane, interrupted his thoughts. She wore a light blue dress that matched her hair and contrasted with her orange skin. Ford wore an off white polo shirt and jeans.

"I'm sorry! I'm being really rude!" Ford quickly snapped his attention back to his date.

"It's okay. And you don't have to be so nervous. I know fixey's have a reputation for being bad tempered, but that's mostly just the queen." Jane lead him to the snack table near the trees.

Ford looked over to where Lee was dancing with his date. Lee wore the same outfit as Ford. The only difference between the two was Ford's glasses and gloves. Zerythna wore a deep purple gown.

Ford turned back to his own date. As they approached the snack table, a group of gnomes near it moved away.

"Hey Jane?" Ford spoke up as Jane got some punch from a bowl. "Is something going on between the fixeys and the gnomes?" Since they had arrived, Ford had noticed the tension between the two groups. Some were actively avoiding each other while other were openly glaring. It had done nothing for Ford's already frayed nerves.

"Yes you could say that," Jane answered, looking into her punch thoughtfully.

"YOU!" A voice screamed from a cross the clearing. The source was a brown haired gnome with a slightly taller hat than the others. He was storming towards Lee and Zerythna who had both stopped dancing.

"I'm afraid you're about to find out what that something is," Jane spoke up. She turned to Ford with an apologetic smile. She then flew over to stand behind her queen along with the other fixeys from earlier. Ford ran after her.

"Jeff," Zyrythna said bitterly.

"How dare you try to steal my girlfriend!" The gnome, Jeff, shouted as he launched himself at Lee. Jeff bit and scratched at him while Lee tried to get him off. Ford jumped in to try an help. This caused more of the gnomes to jump in as well. They managed to hold their own for a short time before quickly being overwhelmed. Ford lost his glasses when one gnome pulled on his hair.

" **ENOUGH!** " The fighting suddenly stopped at everyone was enveloped in a strange glowing aura. Floating near them was Zerythna, her hands covered in that same aura. She jerked one hand to the side and all the gnomes clinging on to the boys flew away. She pulled her other hand to her and Jeff was pulled to stand in front of her. "This. This is why we broke up! The jealousy. The spying. Don't even try to tell me those weren't your squirts in the park!" She was snarling, exposing a whole set of abnormally sharp teeth. Her eyes were glowing.

"You two should probably leave now," Jane whispered as she returned Ford's glasses. The two boys nodded in agreement and snuck away.

"That was wired," Lee remarked when they got to the golf cart. It was parked just out of sight of the clearing.

"Yeah," Ford agreed.

* * *

"Woah, What happened to you two?" Uncle Mae asked as the two tiredly slunk through the gift shop door. Danny and Ria had gone home for the day and Uncle Mae was counting the money in the register.

"It's been a long day," Lee supplied.

"You know boys," Uncle Mae spoke up just before they left the gift shop to go to their room. They turned. "I know that this last week hasn't been as excited as you probably hoped. Why don't you two pick out something from the gift?"

"Really?" They asked in unison.

"Yeah, why not." Uncle Mae shrugged. They looked at each other excitedly. They began to rummage around in the gift shop. After a few minutes Lee pulls a shirt off one of the racks.

"Cool!" Lee exclaimed as he held the shirt up in front of himself. It was red with a golden design on the front.

"It kind of looks like a fishing eating a coin," Ford commented.

"Yeah that design wasn't very popular. I have a lot of extra in the back if you like it," Uncle Mae explained.

"Sweet!" Lee proceeded to take off the shirt he was wearing and put the new t-shirt on.

"What about you kiddo?" Uncle Mae asked Ford. He rummaged in one of the bins for a few more seconds before pulling something out.

"I choose," he held up the wooden device. "Crossbow!"

"Just be careful with that okay!" Uncle Mae called after them as they ran excitedly to their room.

Later that evening, Ford wrote down all of his observation from the day in the journal.

"Hey Ford?" Lee said from the bottom bunk.

"Yeah?" Ford leaned over the side of the top bunk to look at his brother.

"I think this summer really will be the best!" He said with a huge smile.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for abandoning this fic. I just kind of lost interest and have only recently regained interest. The majority of this chapter was written a while back. Next chapter I will probably start writing in present tense.**


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